Mom Jeans And The 4th trimester: Practical Tips On How To Survive The First 12 Weeks With Your Newborn:

I read on Pinterest that the latest fashion item to add to your wardrobe this season is the mom jean. It is a high waist, baggy, stiff denim jean that is comfortable and described on Urban Slang definition as "ugly" and is apparently worn by "cool girl hipsters."

Well I am not a cool girl and I am not a hipster, I am a mom of three awesome offspring, the youngest just two and a half months old, and I am just trying to survive the fourth trimester.  I wear my mom jean because I don't actually have a choice but to wear it; my skinny jeans and pre-pregnacy clothes are too small and my maternity clothes too big, and the bonus is that because the jeans have a high cut waist, I can hide my muffin top and flabby tummy.

So dear fashion and trend experts, the mom jean is in fact more than the latest trend, is it actually an essential survival tool for the fourth trimester! 

Here are some tips and tricks that have really helped me survive the fourth trimester while wearing my apparently fashionable mom jean:

1. Nest like a beast! 

Put that crazy amount of energy that you have in the last trimester to good use and indulge in sorting every cupboard and shelf.

When baby is born you will be glad you did!

2. Simplify

I made a point to give away any furniture and clothes, shoes, crockery, kitchen appliances, books and magazines that I have not used/worn in the last 6 months.

clutter.creates.confusion.and.mess.and.stress.

3. Only buy the baby stuff you really need!

You don't need all that fancy stuff that the baby magazine is trying to sell you!
Ask friends and family what they thought were essential items, but as a breastfeeding, co-sleeping and baby wearing Mama I don't think that you need that much "stuff" for baby!

4. Invest in a "work easy" kitchen 

Invest in a slow cooker, a dishwasher, a food processor, a set of good quality knives, a good quality set of pots and pans and a chest freezer and I promise you your time in the kitchen will be revolutionized when preparing meals.

5. Cook in bulk

When I was in my second trimester I started experimenting with different foods and would freeze small portions of left overs to see what foods freeze well and what foods don't.
I started cooking double portions of supper to freeze, and when I felt braver I would cook a weeks worth of dinners on a Sunday afternoon. When I was in my last trimester a friend of mine came to teach me how to cook a months worth of dinners in one day and it has literally changed my life. Less stress. Less dishes. Less work. More time to spend with my precious little one. 

Before and after: Dinner for a month!

Doing my once a month cook day while
baby Quade breastfeeds in the baby wrap.

6. Get help with the housework

Whether it's buying a dishwasher, getting a cleaning service or full time nanny or sending your laundry to the laundromat, just spend that little bit of extra money and get help with the housework. Don't let housework rob you of this short time with your precious newborn.

7. Online shopping

Especially for the c-section Mamas who can't drive for a few weeks after!

8. Learn to shop wisely 
Going to the shops every day is a waste of time and energy, especially if you can learn how to shop once a month. I buy my toiletries, cleaning products and shelf life foods once a month and buy them in bulk, and buy milk and bread and fruit and veggies once a week. The milk and bread go in the chest freezer and I use the veggies that will spoil quicker first, and use the veggies that can last longer at the end of the week. I plan my meals for the week and I do not leave the house without my shopping list when going to the shops!
I also believe that you save money by going to the shops less, not only on petrol, but because you won't buy unnecessary items during unnecessary trips to the shop!

9. Eat and get dressed as soon as you wake up
Because before you know it, it is 2pm and you are still in your pjs and have not eaten anything yet!

10. Vitamins 
Because you need to look after yourself Mama.

11. Co-sleep

It makes practical sense and is so special too!
Studies also show it has positive health and psychological benefits for baby.

12. Skin on skin
Helps with the milk supply and helps calm a niggly baby.

13. Baby wearing
Let me guess... Your baby cries when you put him/her down? This is totally normal! Seriously, stop fighting it. Just wear your baby and problem solved.

14. Don't try on your skinny jeans! 

It will make you feel fat and sad. Wait until at least 8 weeks!

15. Invest in games/Lego for the other kids

We banned devices in our home so we invested in board games and a few sets of Lego before the birth for moments when I am busy with Baby and the older two need something to do. Money well spent!

16. They say sleep when baby sleeps but rather have an early night

Especially if you have older children who need your attention. Spend some quality alone time with the older ones when baby sleeps. And every hour of sleep before midnight is apparently worth 4 hours of rest for your brain and body.

17. Pack the car and baby bag the night before 
I also draw money and put petrol in my car the day before I am going somewhere to avoid stress.

18. You can kuier in a little bit 

Braais, dinners, family lunches can wait. Unless it is an easy dinner or at someone else's house don't work like a slave to entertain when your baby is so small.

19. This is only a season! 

Deep breath. The crying will become less.

20. Laugh about it 
Don't take yourself too seriously! 

21. Pray for the strength and capacity to get through today.
One day at a time!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own. Matthew 6:34 

22. Rock those mom jeans unapologetically! 

Stop trying to be so damn perfect and just be you. Be real and raw and vulnerable because it is okay to feel like your world has been turned upside down. In fact you are meant to feel that way because every baby deserves that honor! ;)
I let my daughter see the truth of motherhood, because someday when she has children, I don't want her to feel that she has to have it all together. I want her to have a realistic expectation of what it will be like someday. 

So if you have some paint and baby spit up on your jeans... So what.

Wipe it off, put your comfy sneakers on, put some lipstick on, wear your baby wrap and rock this fourth trimester look Mama! You were born to do this! 

Motherhood and Stretch marks : 
10 Things I Have Learned

Motherhood has stretched me… stretched my skin, my womb, my patience and the way I think. Motherhood has made me grow and I have learned a few lessons along the way. Here are my most valuable lessons so far.

1. I have learned that every child is completely unique. 

Unfortunately babies are not born with a manual strapped to their chest and each child, as small as they may be, has a unique personality, and has a unique life purpose and plan. What I do for my daughter does not necessarily work for my son. What you do for your son, may not work for my daughter.

It is my duty as a mother to learn who my children are and not try to conform them into who I want them to be. I need to encourage my children to know Him and discover their calling and dreams placed in their hearts by Him.

2. I have learned to trust my instincts.

I had my daughter when I was only 20 years old and had no family nearby to advise me on how to raise and look after this tiny little new born person. I had to learn quickly to trust my God given intuition and am so very glad that I did. Things that I instinctively did, like skin on skin contact, co sleeping, breast feeding and baby wearing all turned out to be very beneficial to my baby and to myself. I didn’t know it at the time and only found out later that these things that I had instinctively felt to do, had been scientifically proven to help my babys' immune system, among many other neurological benefits.

I have learned to question everything, read up and research everything, question doctors and teachers, coaches and anyone else around my children, because although God is the only one who knows what is best for my children, my husband and I know our child better than anyone.

3. I have learned not to judge other mothers.

I have a confession to make. Before I had children I used to judge the way that other parents raise their children. Before I had children I knew so much about how to be a parent and a disciplinarian. I had all these perfect ideas of what it was like to be a mother, and then I became a mother and somehow knew less than I did before. I learned very quickly that motherhood is not a Pampers nappy television advert with perfect smiles and a clean perfect house and a child that is happy 24/7.

I have learned to give other mothers lots and lots of grace, because that is what I need.

4. I have learned that love really is the greatest gift of all.

Yes that sounds super cheesy. But also super true. Holding and meeting my children for the first time was one of the greatest gifts in this life time that I will always treasure. These guys are my treasures here on earth and I have discovered a love so deep and a bond so unbreakable and yet, I will never be able to fully grasp the concept of Gods’ unfailing love for me. But being a mother has given me just a teeny tiny teensy taste of how much God loves me. I love my children with every part of me and all that I am. And yet no matter how much I love my children, God loves me so much more. Mind blowing.

 “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son…” John 3:16

5. I have learned to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously.

Motherhood is a serious job and if I mess up my child I have to stand before God someday and please explain. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun. I have been vomited on, peed on, I have had my children blurt out the most embarrassing questions and remark in public, and I have had moments that are so ridiculous that I have had to just laugh out loud or I would burst into tears. To gain perspective I have often had to ask myself the very important question; “What will matter more in five years?”

6. Motherhood has stretched me and taught me to be brave and strong even when I don’t feel it. 
There have been moments where I have been completely freaked out by this enormous task and responsibility of being a mother. Questions like, “What if my teenagers run away from home” or “What if we can’t afford to send them university” have crossed my mind. But in moments like that I need to control my thoughts and be brave and trust myself and trust God that it will all work out.

I don’t always know what I’m doing but God created these children for me, and created me for these children, so He will give me what I need when I need it. All I can do is take one day at a time, one step at a time, with lots and lots of grace from God.

                     Be brave butterfly….

7. I have learned to grow a thick skin. To hold onto the good stuff and exhale the bad stuff.  I have learned to let go of what people think because it really doesn’t matter in the bigger scheme of things. I have learned to fly against the wind and resistance and not always go with what society says I should do.

                      Be bold butterfly….

"They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." John 17:16 

8. I have learned that it is such a short season of sacrifice.  
My daughter is turning eight next month and it feels like yesterday that she was moving inside of my big pregnant belly. I have sacrificed many things for these children, but I actually can’t even name them because it is irrelevant. They are just so worth it. Soon these days of standing on Lego at 3 am and reading bedtime stories will be over for me. I need to treasure and embrace this season because I will miss it so very much…

9. I have been so completely humbled. 
I really can’t do this motherhood thing on my own. I am seriously desperate for Jesus to guide me and show me and protect my family. I seriously don't even know how people who don’t have Jesus in their lives do it... It is too much stress, too much noise and too much mess to actually cope alone…

Cant. 
Cope. 
Without. 
Him.

10. I have learned that although I am the one who is meant to teach them, the irony is that they teach me… about life, about love and about myself. 

When I gave birth to them they really gave birth to me. They are showing me one day at a time who I need to be, who I am meant to be and who I want to be. And life is so beautiful because they are mine for this short time here on earth…

Yes motherhood has stretched me… stretched my arms so that I can embrace the little arms around my neck, and my heart wider so that I can be filled with love that children seem to naturally bring with them when they are born into this world. 

I have stretch marks on my heart and a few on my body too, best of all I have me these amazing two little people who call me "Mommy". 

And the stretch marks, well they don’t really matter anyway do they?