I am usually the one interviewing people for my radio show, Arise Butterfly Glorify on GNCR, but on this day, it was my turn to be interviewed. Lauren Jacobs, who is a great inspiration to me, interviewed me on her show on Radio Cape Pulpit.

Lauren and I spoke about women empowerment, abortion, and the Michelle Williams acceptance speech that went viral. Michelle Williams received an award a few weeks back and said that it is because of a woman’s right to choose that she was able to win her award. Basically, that because of the fact that she had an abortion, that she was able to succeed in her career. 

The media often send the message that abortion is empowering for women, but we discuss how this is not true. 

Below is the link to the interview, we start speaking at 6 minutes 45s. 

Lauren Jacobs and Melissa Hertz abortion and women empowerment interview

FLUTTER INC AND AFRICA CARES FOR LIFE DONATE AN ULTRASOUND MACHINE TO TSHEPHO WOMENS HEALTH 

Earlier this year, at the Africa Cares for Life Conference, I met Karla Sutter, founder of Flutter Inc, based in the U.S.

Karla was one of the fantastic speakers at the conference this year and is also the author of a few books, including Flutter - a children's book with a strong pro-life message.

Flutters vision statement is that every girl, in every nation, should have the right to an ultrasound during her pregnancy.  It is for this reason, that Karla and her team, bring unused ultra machines from America, to countries in Africa.

Karla donated a machine to Africa Cares For Life this year, who then chose to give it to Tila Maganyane from Tshephos Women's Health.

It was a very special moment to witness how the machine was received with such gratitude. I have no doubt in my mind that this ultrasound machine will prevent many abortions. According to Life News, 78% of pregnant women who see an ultrasound of their baby reject abortion.

Below is a video of how Tila received her ultrasound machine at the Africa Cares for Life conference.

Visit www.flutter-effect.com or follow them on social media!

On the 20th of August, my friend Youandi and I flew to Johannesburg for four days to attend the Africa Cares for Life conference.
 

Africa Cares for Life is an umbrella body and support structure for pregnancy centres in South Africa. Africa Cares for Life also offers various development programs to empower pregnancy centres in South Africa.

Each year, ACFL has a conference to refresh, encourage and empower pregnancy centre leaders and volunteers. 

While most pregnancy centres are actual centres in a physical building, there are a few online counselling helplines and organizations that offer online pregnancy help. 

Youandi Gilain from Open Arms SA, and Nina McNeil from 11th Hour are both online pregnancy support counsellors. 

I represent my organization, Project Life, and do most of my pregnancy help and post-abortion counselling on Whatsapp, with the odd person contacting me on Facebook. 

The majority of clients who contact me, contact me for post-abortion counselling, but now and then, I do receive a client seeking pregnancy counselling.

Daniele Gradwell, director of ACFL put together an exceptionally inspiring conference, and world-class speakers shared their stories and passion for assisting girls and women in unplanned pregnancies.

Karla Sutter, Ellen Foell, Grant Edkins, and Lusanda Dhlamini are some of the fantastic influencers that spoke at the conference.

Each day, we had the option of attending wonderfully informative workshops. One of the workshops that particularly stood out to me was Breaking Soul Ties, by Joyce Ray. 
 

I also had the privilege of seeing the movie Unplanned at the conference. The film is powerfully moving, and I have no doubt in my mind that it will change and challenge many hearts on the topic of abortion. I imagine that many lives will be saved because of this movie.

I will be planning a screening for the movie Unplanned in Cape Town towards the end of October, so keep an eye out for the details. 

On the last evening of the conference, Daniele organized a banquet, and we were encouraged to dress up. The theme for the conference was BOLD, so I wore a brightly coloured dress and painted my face like a warrior, symbolic of my passion to boldly fight for what I believe is right.
My heart was so full of joy to be surrounded by people with the same passion, who are on the same mission that I am on. 

I would like to say a special thanks to you to Daniele for putting together an amazingly informative and motivational conference.  
I have been inspired to take bold steps and to keep moving forward. I have been inspired to be courageous.

August Speaking Opportunities:

Me, sharing my story at New Beginnings Church.

On Friday the 10th of August I had the honor of speaking at a woman's event at the New Beginnings Church in Phoenix.

I shared my testimony at the event, of how God spared my life after I almost died, after giving birth to my son Quade, three years ago. I also shared my abortion story and how abortion negatively affected my life. 

At the event, I met Loaraine Moonsamy, who invited me to speak at her church the next day.

Me, sharing my story at Calvary Chapel.

 I wanted to embrace the opportunity to share my testimony once again, so on Saturday the 11th of August, I spoke at the Calvary Chapel Woman's event. I shared my story and offered free online post-abortion counselling to anyone who felt that they might need it. I had ladies come to me after  I spoke to share their stories of how they have lost children to abortion. Many women do not seek therapy and counselling after an abortion, and many women struggle with feelings of loss, regret and sadness, after having an abortion. 

I feel so privileged to have had two opportunities to speak. 
I love being a speaker and am so thankful for the opportunities that God gives me to share my story of His grace. 

If you would like me to visit your church, to raise awareness on abortion and baby abandonment, and for me to share my testimony, send an email to melissahertzmusic@gmail.com.
Many blessings!

At the Calvary Chapel Woman's event with two of the other speakers.

Illinois passes a bill far worse than New Yorks

Just two days ago the state of Illinois passed a bill so extreme that thousands marched to the capitol to protest against it and make their voices heard. 

The bill is even more extreme than the New York Health and Reproductive Act, passed in January this year. 

HB2495 would virtually eliminate all protections for preborn children, allow infanticide, remove conscience protection laws for health care workers, allow taxpayer funding for abortion, and more. HB 2467 would repeal the Parental Notice of Abortion Act of 1995, making it so that minors can obtain abortions without parental notification. 

So, if you are thinking that this doesn’t affect you because you do not live in the state of Illinois then listen up. 

It can.

This does have the ability to affect you even if you are in another state or country. 

There is a saying that when America sneezes the rest of the world catches a cold. 

Trends that are started in America are easily picked up by the rest of the world. 

I live in South Africa and we have some of the most liberal laws surrounding abortion, in the world. But there are a few things that you can do, no matter where in the world you live, to try to keep the brakes on the laws regarding abortion.

Information. 

People cannot make informed decisions without information and women and girls cannot make informed decisions about their reproductive health if they are not empowered with information. Information can be easily shared on social media and just taking a few moments to share an article regarding pro-life issues could be really helpful to someone who is needing it at that moment. Visit our Facebook page Project Life Pro-Life SA, and follow us on social media. Take the time to share articles.

Petitions 

Don’t just ignore petitions. 22000 signatures speak louder than 32 signatures. 

Know your stuff.

Make yourself aware of the laws surrounding abortion in your country. 
Understand the scientific view of aborton and how it supports the fact that life begins at conception. 
You will be challenged if you share your views, so be prepared to inform people and defend your point of view. Using a scientific and logical argument is more effective as not everyone you meet is religious, and pointing out the dangers to a womans health, both physically and mentally, is a great argument against abortion too.

Unite

Weather you are a Baptist or a Catholic, the Church needs to stand together if we are going to be an effective voice for the unborn.

Pro-Life Muslims, pro-life Christians, pro-life Atheists, and everyone in-between need to unite for the cause and fight for the rights of the unborn together.

Be brave

Do not be afraid to speak out against abortion and share your views. 
Be brave and speak up, even if your voice shakes.

Unplanned banned in Canada

Unplanned is the true story of Abby Johnson, the youngest director of Planned Parenthood, who witnesses something during an abortion procedure that dramatically changes her life forever.


Despite the fact that the movie contains no foul language, no nudity, and no sexuality, it has been banned in Canada.
The distributors found the content ``offensive."

Offensive? 

Wait... If an abortion is just the removal of a clump of cells then why would Unplanned be banned? 


To make matters even worse, Google refused any pre-release adverts and banners of the film and many major television networks refused to promote the films release.
Twitter suspended the Unplanned Twitter account and cut their Twitter "followers" dramatically.

           








Johnson however is not despondent and is as passionate as ever and says 
"I wonder what they have to be afraid of?"

She has encouraged Canadians to raise their voices and to speak up for the unborn.   

"You gotta stop being so dang polite. 
Life is on the line. Children are being killed, dismembered by their mothers wombs. There is nothing pro-life about abortion and it is time for us to stop cowering to a liberal media, to your liberal parliament, enough is enough."

Already the movie Unplanned is making waves and there have been testimonies of women and girls who went to see the movie, who were not sure if they would keep their baby or not, who then chose life for their baby.

Abby Johnson has done an amazing thing and although Unplanned is not yet available in South Africa, I am so excited to see such a controversial, impacting and incredible story of a woman who was not afraid to speak the truth.

The moment I find out about a screening here in South Africa I will be sure to let people know!

Hartenbos Aarendsfees Music Festival

I was invited to take part in the Hartenbos Aarendsfees Music Festival over the Easter weekend and how could I possibly refuse? 

Thanks to the amazing band that traveled from Cape Town and also played for Shannah and Andriette de la Harpe, I had the best stage support I could have asked for. 

With Deon Knipe playing bass guitar, Wikis Du Rand and Rudolph Müller on guitar and back up vocals, and Charlton Loff playing the drums, the stage was set!

I had the opportunity to have the stage on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. On Sunday evening I spoke but didn’t sing again.

My EP was available to buy and I also sold some T-Shirts that I had printed. I sold Christian jewelry and all of the t-shirts sold!

Errol Naidoo from Salt and Light did an interview with me for his show and I shared my views on abortion and shared about how I am passionately pro-life after having an abortion when I was 14 years old. 

Errol was kind enough to have his camera crew record a live acoustic version of me singing my song Your Love and I am thankful for the favor.




It is a once in a lifetime opportunity to perform at Hartenbos and is something that I will treasure always to have had this privilege. 

Mom Jeans And The 4th trimester: Practical Tips On How To Survive The First 12 Weeks With Your Newborn:

I read on Pinterest that the latest fashion item to add to your wardrobe this season is the mom jean. It is a high waist, baggy, stiff denim jean that is comfortable and described on Urban Slang definition as "ugly" and is apparently worn by "cool girl hipsters."

Well I am not a cool girl and I am not a hipster, I am a mom of three awesome offspring, the youngest just two and a half months old, and I am just trying to survive the fourth trimester.  I wear my mom jean because I don't actually have a choice but to wear it; my skinny jeans and pre-pregnacy clothes are too small and my maternity clothes too big, and the bonus is that because the jeans have a high cut waist, I can hide my muffin top and flabby tummy.

So dear fashion and trend experts, the mom jean is in fact more than the latest trend, is it actually an essential survival tool for the fourth trimester! 

Here are some tips and tricks that have really helped me survive the fourth trimester while wearing my apparently fashionable mom jean:

1. Nest like a beast! 

Put that crazy amount of energy that you have in the last trimester to good use and indulge in sorting every cupboard and shelf.

When baby is born you will be glad you did!

2. Simplify

I made a point to give away any furniture and clothes, shoes, crockery, kitchen appliances, books and magazines that I have not used/worn in the last 6 months.

clutter.creates.confusion.and.mess.and.stress.

3. Only buy the baby stuff you really need!

You don't need all that fancy stuff that the baby magazine is trying to sell you!
Ask friends and family what they thought were essential items, but as a breastfeeding, co-sleeping and baby wearing Mama I don't think that you need that much "stuff" for baby!

4. Invest in a "work easy" kitchen 

Invest in a slow cooker, a dishwasher, a food processor, a set of good quality knives, a good quality set of pots and pans and a chest freezer and I promise you your time in the kitchen will be revolutionized when preparing meals.

5. Cook in bulk

When I was in my second trimester I started experimenting with different foods and would freeze small portions of left overs to see what foods freeze well and what foods don't.
I started cooking double portions of supper to freeze, and when I felt braver I would cook a weeks worth of dinners on a Sunday afternoon. When I was in my last trimester a friend of mine came to teach me how to cook a months worth of dinners in one day and it has literally changed my life. Less stress. Less dishes. Less work. More time to spend with my precious little one. 

Before and after: Dinner for a month!

Doing my once a month cook day while
baby Quade breastfeeds in the baby wrap.

6. Get help with the housework

Whether it's buying a dishwasher, getting a cleaning service or full time nanny or sending your laundry to the laundromat, just spend that little bit of extra money and get help with the housework. Don't let housework rob you of this short time with your precious newborn.

7. Online shopping

Especially for the c-section Mamas who can't drive for a few weeks after!

8. Learn to shop wisely 
Going to the shops every day is a waste of time and energy, especially if you can learn how to shop once a month. I buy my toiletries, cleaning products and shelf life foods once a month and buy them in bulk, and buy milk and bread and fruit and veggies once a week. The milk and bread go in the chest freezer and I use the veggies that will spoil quicker first, and use the veggies that can last longer at the end of the week. I plan my meals for the week and I do not leave the house without my shopping list when going to the shops!
I also believe that you save money by going to the shops less, not only on petrol, but because you won't buy unnecessary items during unnecessary trips to the shop!

9. Eat and get dressed as soon as you wake up
Because before you know it, it is 2pm and you are still in your pjs and have not eaten anything yet!

10. Vitamins 
Because you need to look after yourself Mama.

11. Co-sleep

It makes practical sense and is so special too!
Studies also show it has positive health and psychological benefits for baby.

12. Skin on skin
Helps with the milk supply and helps calm a niggly baby.

13. Baby wearing
Let me guess... Your baby cries when you put him/her down? This is totally normal! Seriously, stop fighting it. Just wear your baby and problem solved.

14. Don't try on your skinny jeans! 

It will make you feel fat and sad. Wait until at least 8 weeks!

15. Invest in games/Lego for the other kids

We banned devices in our home so we invested in board games and a few sets of Lego before the birth for moments when I am busy with Baby and the older two need something to do. Money well spent!

16. They say sleep when baby sleeps but rather have an early night

Especially if you have older children who need your attention. Spend some quality alone time with the older ones when baby sleeps. And every hour of sleep before midnight is apparently worth 4 hours of rest for your brain and body.

17. Pack the car and baby bag the night before 
I also draw money and put petrol in my car the day before I am going somewhere to avoid stress.

18. You can kuier in a little bit 

Braais, dinners, family lunches can wait. Unless it is an easy dinner or at someone else's house don't work like a slave to entertain when your baby is so small.

19. This is only a season! 

Deep breath. The crying will become less.

20. Laugh about it 
Don't take yourself too seriously! 

21. Pray for the strength and capacity to get through today.
One day at a time!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own. Matthew 6:34 

22. Rock those mom jeans unapologetically! 

Stop trying to be so damn perfect and just be you. Be real and raw and vulnerable because it is okay to feel like your world has been turned upside down. In fact you are meant to feel that way because every baby deserves that honor! ;)
I let my daughter see the truth of motherhood, because someday when she has children, I don't want her to feel that she has to have it all together. I want her to have a realistic expectation of what it will be like someday. 

So if you have some paint and baby spit up on your jeans... So what.

Wipe it off, put your comfy sneakers on, put some lipstick on, wear your baby wrap and rock this fourth trimester look Mama! You were born to do this! 

11 Things I have learned in 11 years of marriage:

1. It doesn't matter how young or old you are when you marry....
My husband was 25 and I was 18 when we got married. In today's time that is young to marry because many people first want to be secure in their job and complete their studies before tying the knot. And I get that.
I will admit that marrying young meant that we were really poor for the first two or three years, but there was something special about eating scrambled eggs for dinner most nights and counting our pennies that made us grow closer together... we shared that difficult time, and we shared it together. 
There are pros and cons to marrying young as well as pros and cons to marrying later in life. Marrying young did not mean the end of my freedom because we did life together.
It meant that I got to do life freely with someone by my side.

2. Your partner is not meant to complete you...
If you think that marrying your best friend is going to complete you and make you happy for the rest of your life, think again. No person, or amount of people could ever possibly fill the hole in our hearts because it was put there by God to only ever be filled by God. Only He can complete us because He is the missing puzzle piece, and until we seek Him, find Him and are filled with Him, we will not be complete. People will unfortunately all eventually disappoint us because we are flawed in our nature.

3. Date nights/days day needs to be a priority...
Dear husband, date your wife, buy her sexy underwear and perfume and chocolates and not only on Valentines day!
Dear wife, wear the sexy underwear and flirt with your man!
And if date nights are too hectic take a date day and go for a hike and explore, without the kids and try not to talk about the kids either.
Make your partner feel special and desired and keep the spark alive and have fun!






4. Affection breeds affection
Did you know that in the first two years of being in love the love horemone oxyticin is at its highest?
As time passes oxytocin lessens and this is often when people say they no longer "feel" in love. It is usually at this point where many couples decide to separate as they don't feel "in love" any more and therefore think something is wrong. Nothing is wrong and this is totally normal! The good news is that sex, cuddling and eye contact all increase the oxytocin levels in the brain, so the more you kiss and cuddle, the more you will want to kiss and cuddle.
Love moves from being "in love" to a deeper, more unconditional love and becomes a choice and so much more than just a feeling.

5. Friendships and relationships with your family change.
And that's okay. They are meant to.
My high school friendships changed when I married my husband because, well, I was no longer in high school. My relationships with my family changed slightly,because marrying my husband meant that he became my family. I do believe that your spouse is meant to come before friends on the priority list and any friendship that is not good for your marriage needs to end as unfortunately friends come and go and friendships are sometimes only for a season, marriage is a life time.

Matthew 19;5-6

'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

6. Your spouse will change and this also okay and also to be expected.
This is probably the most popular phrase I have heard people mutter about why they are no longer in a relationship with someone. And yes it is true, people do change. But we are humans and not rocks, so we are constantly changing and adapting, learning and growing, and thank God for that or life would be so boring! I am absolutely not the person that I was 10 years ago, neither is Ashley the person now who was once was.... 
We have grown up together and what a relief that is! 
The mission: To grow together and not apart.

7.God needs to be the centre of the marriage...
It is easy to become so completely consumed with our spouse and put God second, maybe even third on the list. But the closer we move to God the closer we move to our spouse.
I need to ask myself constantly, what would Christ do in this situation and how would He react in this situation? I need to forgive and love my husband for all his mistakes and have grace with him, the same way that Christ has grace with me. The relationship between husband and wife has given me a deeper understanding of how Christ loves the Church.

  

So your wife bought the wrong toilet paper and your husband forgot the gate open after he left for work. Is it really worth fighting about? We all make mistakes and are only human!
Choose your battles and realize that being right is not the most important thing in the world.

8. Children simply cannot be the centre of a marriage.
In fact having a baby will be a huge stressor to a marriage that is already having troubles.
Add different opinions, ideas and convictions regarding child rearing, discipline and education, and throw some blurred parental roles and expectations to the mix and things can get complicated and messy.
And yes a bundle of joy is a huge blessing, but a bundle of joy shouldn't be used to "glue' and mend holes in a relationship. That is just way to much pressure for a bundle of joy.

8. You need to be your own person and not just somebody's husband/wife
Marry someone who you can be yourself with and who won't try to mould you into their idea of who you should be. Your spouse should be your mentor and person you look up to, but God created you to be you, with all the quirks in between, and we should find our identity in Christ. I have seen men take scripture about female submission in the Bible and use it to manipulate women and control them, and strip them of all identity. Your spouse should encourage you to be the best version of you without changing the essence of who you are. This of course does not mean that you can use your flaws as an excuse to behave badly!

10. Go to marriage counselling 
And don't only go when you are having problems.
I am a huge fan of counselling and seeing a psychologist as I see it as a tool for helping me become a better version of myself. My psychologist is a Christian lady (I do feel it is very important to see a believer as the advice/methods will be from a Christian world view) and I am unashamed to admit that I see a therapist now and then. There is such a negative stigma attached to seeing a psychologist.... 
It does not mean that I am crazy or that Jesus did not heal my heart properly! 
Psychotheraphy has helped me understand myself and others so much better and I find it to be so empowering to go and speak to someone!
We recently saw our psychologist for trauma counselling after the traumatic experience after the birth of our son and it helped me so much to "process" my emotions with someone professional in a "safe" environment.
Our psychologist taught us how to communicate effectively and I love going to see her and insist that my husband and I should see her for follow ups once a year, just to talk and process and reflect.
Don't talk about your marriage problems to your friends or family or complain about your spouse (rather see a counsellor or speak to your pastor) because it is easy for you to forgive and forget the mistakes your partner makes, but over time your friends and family will dislike your spouse and lose respect for him/her and this too will cause them to give biased advice that may not be healthy for your marriage.
And anyways, its not right to discuss and gossip and complain about our spouses, I would be very hurt if i found out that my husband was complaining about me to his golf buddies!

11. Marriage is hard work. And if it is not hard work then you are doing it wrong.
It requires constant sacrifice, for the other person to be comfortable and feel loved and supported and encouraged, and requires putting someone else's wants and needs before your own...Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you must be a slave with no dignity.
Clear boundaries and respect and consideration for your partner need to be a healthy balance. And it works both ways of course. We do not have a perfect marriage, and do not have a perfect family, but hey, its those quirks that makes us who we are: The unconventional, quirky, colorful and very very noisy, happy Hertz family! 

What lessons have you learnt about marriage? I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts!