Introducing: Project Life


In South Africa, one in every four women is physically abused by her intimate partner. 

Every six hours, a woman is killed by her current or former intimate partner.

110 rapes are reported to the police each day but in reality the number is far higher as so many victims do not report their rape to the police.

Each day, 22 babies are abandoned in dangerous places and left to die.


These are some shocking statistics that show that women and children in South Africa are at risk of being raped, abused, or being abandoned at birth, HIV positive, or in a crisis pregnancy.

Women in any one of these crises need to find a support structure, and need to be informed about what their options are, so that they can make healthier choices - choices that are not destructive to their health or to their babies - and to find organizations that can assist them and help them heal from the trauma of the crises of which they find themselves to be victims.

Women need to be made aware of organizations and places of safety that can help them, because women deserve more from life than suffering in silence or suffering alone.

The problem is that - despite the fact that we live in a time when information is at our  fingertips - not all organizations have a website or Facebook page, and not all organizations are well marketed or known by their local community.


Project Life has created a website that we hope will become the "go to" website to which women in crisis can go in order to find the resources that they need.

The website is designed to be a mobile friendly search engine where women will be  able to type in a keyword related to the specific crisis in which they find themselves. The details of the organizations that can assist in that crisis will then be listed and grouped according to each province.

Our aim is that the Project Life website will become a well-known safety net of information to which women in crisis can attain access, however this site will also serve as a helpline to those wanting to adopt. They will be able to find the contacts that they need on the site, in order that  a positive change can be made to the orphan crisis here in South Africa.

Project Life also aims to be more than just an online directory. 

Our goals include: 

-To provide support to women in crisis pregnancy through online crisis pregnancy counselling

-Raising awareness and getting involved in activism to prevent baby abandonment by informing people where existing baby grace boxes are.
(A baby grace box is a box designed for a woman to safely and anonymously abandon her baby by placing the baby in the box.)

-Encouraging more churches and organizations to have a baby grace box put up in their local community.

-Having our own brand of baby grace boxes that will be cost effective and support the local economy and create job opportunities.

-Raising awareness for the adoption cause and encouraging more people to adopt, become foster parents and kangaroo mothers.

-Having "clean up my city" campaigns.  This involves people going into areas where illegal posters advertising third trimester abortions are ripped off lampposts and street lights.  These posters are in turn recycled.  (Up to 60% of babies abandoned are third trimester illegal botched abortions.)

-Encouraging women to make choices that are healthy for both mother and baby. 

-We want to support mothers who choose to keep their babies, by providing them with information of places that can assist them should they need help. 

-Having "Project Mommy and Baby Pack" campaigns where we visit local hospitals and clinics and take women who have just given birth a gift containing some supplies and essentials for the first few weeks of baby's life. A pamphlet listing places and organizations that assist women in the different crises that women are vulnerable to,  will be included in these packs. (eg. rape crisis centres, abuse crisis centres, baby grace box locations, crisis pregnancy centres).

-Having pamphlet drives in government hospitals and rural clinics.


 -A pamphlet design for each province listing the organizations which can help women. 

-These pamphlets will be available for download should someone in another province want to do a pamphlet drive or put up posters in their local community.

-The pamphlets will also be updated as more organizations and baby grace boxes are added to our database.

-Having posters put up in local hospitals, clinics and libraries to educate and inform employees (nurses, hospital staff and librarians) of the locations of the baby grace boxes.

-Having fundraisers for existing NPOs and NGOs who are assisting women in crises and assisting vulnerable orphans and the unborn.

-Various activism campaigns using radio, social media, newspapers, magazines, and television.

-The visiting of local Churches and schools and doing educational talks to raise awareness of the local organizations that can assist, should girls and women need any of the resources.


During the month of February Project Life will be having our first 10 days of activism campaign that will start on the 23rd. I am excited to be sharing at the Mighty Women's Conference on the 24th of February and to share my own story of why I have a heart for women in crisis pregnancy and raise awareness for the cause. The conference starts on the 23rd to the 25th and will be on the Moreson Farm. Tickets available at Computicket.com.

 

Educating and empowering women is very close to my heart as I found myself in a crisis pregnancy when I was only 14 years old and - sadly - decided to abort my baby.

For years I struggled with the guilt and regret of not choosing life for my baby, to the point where I even attempted suicide just to end the pain. That was the night that I became a Christian, and since then, I have become a Gospel musician, speaker, and activist for the rights of the unborn, as well as the rights of the vulnerable orphan. I believe that the Church needs to get more involved in assisting women in crisis pregnancies, and  to not judge or condemn women who are in these situations,. I proclaim fervently that the Church of Christ should be a safe place for the broken and the lost. So many women in the Church have had abortions, and are struggling with feelings of self-condemnation.  I am shocked by how many women come to me after I have spoken at Churches, confessing to me that they have had an abortion, but have never told a soul up until that moment.

If you have had an abortion, know that - if you repent - God is faithful and just to forgive and restore, and there is no sin which is too powerful for the blood of Jesus, and the grace that we find in Him and through Him.   

Last week I also had the great honor of speaking at the Cape Town March for Life and raising awareness for Project Life. I took some pamphlets with me that were spread around- pamphlets that list the existing baby grace box locations in Cape Town.
Please note that these baby boxes are not run by Project Life- they are independently run and Project Life is simply raising awareness of their location.

If you are interested in becoming a volunteer or if you are interested in starting a baby grace box in your community please email melissa@projectlife.org.za.

And if you are an organization or any of the following, and want to be listed on our website, please visit our website www.projectlife.org.za

The Project Life website allows for organizations to register themselves so that we can hopefully include all the organizations supporting women and children in these causes.


Organizations who assist with adoptions

Pre and post abortion counselling

Crisis pregnancy centres

Crisis pregnancy helplines

Baby grace boxes/drop boxes/safe boxes


Visit our Facebook page for more updates and if God leads you, please consider supporting us financially, so that we can have more awareness campaigns.

Donations of nappies, sanitary towels, baby toiletries, wet wipes, and baby clothes and blankets would be so appreciated for our Project Mommy Baby packs.

Project Life is an NPC focusing on empowering women in crisis and offering hope to the vulnerable. 


Together we can achieve so much more!

World Adoption Day: Get involved and use what is in your hand!

Today is World Adoption Day and you don't need to be adopted or be a parent of an adopted child to celebrate! We can all celebrate this amazing cause because we can all take part in this cause, even if it is just by raising awareness or giving financial help to organizations that support this cause! Afterall, adoption is making the world a better place!

Here are a few ideas to assist the adoption cause:

1. Become a kangaroo parent and take care of a baby for 3-6 months while the process of and paperwork of permanent foster care or adoption is taking place.

2. Become a place of safety by having a child in your care for anywhere between one day and six months.

3. Become a permanent foster care parent and have a child in your care for up to 2 years.

4. Have a baby drop installed at your home or Church to prevent baby abandonment.

5. Give financial donations to organizations assisting the cause.

6. Sponsor a child who is in foster care at foster home.

7. Raise awareness for the cause by blogging, doing talks at schools and Churches.

8. Use whatever skills God has given you to assist! If you are a graphic designer and web developer then contact an organization and offer to do website for them, if you are an accountant then offer to do the organizations books for them, if you can bake then raise funds for the organization of your choice! Use whatever God has placed on your hand.

A friend of mine, who I am so honored to know and so proud of, Louise Coetzee, has done just that; she used what is in her hands by writting a beautiful and inspiring book called The Story Of Princess Zizi, inspired by the journey that her family has been on when adopting their beautiful daughter. What makes this book so special is that so many can relate to it; parents who have adopted, and those who have been adopted. The pages are high quality and although the background is ''colored in," the characters in the book are not, meaning that multiracial families can color the characters in according to their unique family dynamic. The book is available in both English and Afrikaans and costs just R100.00.
Contact Louise Coetzee on 0788124301 or email her on louise.coetzee252@gmail.com.

  National March for Life and Pro-life Conference 2017

I was honoured to have been invited to be one of the guest speakers at the NAL conference in Durban 3 weeks ago, a conference organized by Doctors for Life with the intention of uniting South African pro-lifers, pro-life activists and pro-life organizations. I shared my testimony and personal experience of being in a crisis pregnancy and spoke about the importance of knowing the locations of the local crisis pregnancy centres and baby safe boxes in the local community and around South Africa so that women who are in a crisis can be given options- options other than abortion. Because let's face it, the culture of the time we live in pushes the abortion agenda as the solution to crisis pregnancy and abortion is so easily available since the legalization of abortion 20 years ago.



Most people know where their local abortion providers are but not where their local crisis pregnancy centres are located, so if we are truly going to make a change and live a proactive pro-life lifestyle then we need to do more than just tell women in crisis not to go through with abortion- but actually help them and walk a road with them and present them with better options. 
I believe with all my heart that women deserve BETTER than abortion and if abortion is about women's rights then women deserve a better solution to crisis pregnancy; a solution that is not destructive or damaging to a woman's physical and mental health.

Study after study shows that abortion increases the risk of breast cancer by up to 30% and that abortion can cause future infertility problems.
Post abortive psychological conditions include PTSD, depression, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders and self harm tendencies. 
I doubt very much than any woman WANTS to abandon their baby or have their baby aborted- both abortion and baby abandonment are desperate acts that come from a place of feeling like there was no other choice and no other way out.

I also shared about the baby abandonment crisis in South Africa and tried to raise awareness around the shocking statistics that show that up to 63% of the babies abandoned in rubbish bins and drains and fields are in fact botched 3rd trimester abortions. Women and girls in crisis need to be educated and informed that the posters and stickers found on lamp-posts and rubbish bins that promise a safe and painless abortion are dangerous and illegal.

The conference was held at the Gateway Church in Mt Edgecombe and I got to meet such inspiring and influential people: 
Xolani Klaas, a pastor who was conceived out of rape, shared his story of how his mother was encouraged to abort him but refused. He shared his story of how he struggled with his identity because he did not know who his father was. His turning point came when he realized that his Father is in fact the Father of the universe and his name Xolani, means to be still. 

"He says 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

A gynecologist who is one of the board members of Doctors for Life shared her experience of being a pro-life gynecologist dealing with the issue of patients asking her to perform abortions and how she tries to encourage life to expectant mothers in crisis.

Pastor Rusty Thomas, an American pastor from Texas who preaches the pro-life message, shared his convictions and preached about the spiritual aspect of abortion and what the Bible says about abortion and child sacrifice. It was a powerful and thought provoking message. Rusty is also the national director of Operation Rescue/ Operation Save America.

I got to meet so many amazing people, each one making an impact in their local community; preachers, crisis pregnancy help-line facilitators, Doctors for Life employees and volunteers, and those involved in local Christian radio stations. 

The conference was actually on the same day as my birthday, which is also Dominics birthday- he turned 8 and I turned 31 and it was so exciting to be doing what I love so dearly: human rights activism for the little humans on the other side of the womb, on my birthday! 
I am also so grateful that we got to spend our special day in beautiful Durban as it is our favorite destination in South Africa because of the lovely weather and natural beauty but also because Ashley and I met in Durban and are both from Durban, so Durban has some sentimental and nostalgic value for us too.
Ashley took the children to the bird park and to Essenwood flea market while I was at the conference and afterwards we went for a long walk on the beach and got pizza and milkshakes to celebrate our special day together as family.

Since my near death experience of almost dying after childbirth because of undiagnosed placenta accreta and almost bleeding out completely, I am very emotional on the birthdays of the people I love most because the reality is not lost to me that I was almost not here to celebrate these days with my husband and children.

I am at a loss of words to express just how grateful I am to still be here and the gratitude overwhelms me daily.

On Sunday 1 October we went to the beach again and Ashley and the kids swam in the ocean while Quade and I played in the sand. Because we live in Cape Town, my children don't get to swim in the ocean too often as it is too cold, so this was such a treat for them and they loved every minute of it!
At 2pm we headed to Gateway shopping centre to the National March for Life. 

This march is the only national pro-life march here in South Africa, where people from all over South Africa come to join in unity and stand up for the rights of the most vulnerable person in our society; the unborn.

There were around 900 people who attended the March and Pastor Rusty, Pastor Klaas and I got to make a speech at the beginning of the march.

We marched around Gateway shopping centre and over the Millennium bridge. The march did disrupt traffic and there were mixed reactions from the onlookers- some people would hoot and cheer- others would shake their heads and refuse the pro-life literature and pamphlets that were being handed out.





The march was so well organized that there were even water stations where marchers could get a drink of water as Durban is very hot and humid in October and it didn't take long before we felt very thirsty and hot!

It made me feel so proud to be an activist for the human rights of the unborn as we marched side by side, with the passion and love for the unborn as our mutual reason for marching.

If you are passionate about pro-life and are wanting to connect and network with other pro-lifer activists and organizations I strongly encourage you to attend the NAL conference next year. The NAL annual conference takes place on the first Saturday of October and the annual National March For Life takes place on the first Sunday of October at 2:30pm outside the Gateway Shopping Centre. I also want to encourage and urge people to come to the march and stand together and take a stand for the rights of the unborn!

Contact Doctors for Life for more information.

I look forward to the conference and march next year!

My visit to The New Life Centre:

I had the great honor of hanging out with Rennie Joubert and getting to hear her story last Saturday. Rennie, 74, a retired accountant, runs the New Life Centre - a Christian centre in Belleville Cape Town that accommodates women in crisis pregnancy - with her husband Wietz Joubert, 78.

Not only is she the house mother of the New Life Centre but also does spiritual counselling with the ladies at the New Life Centre, and has even delivered 3 of the babies who were born at the home!

There have been 445 adoptions, 176 women who chose to be single parents, 1 miscarriage, 3 phantom pregnancies and 4 still-born or babies who died shortly after birth at the centre over the past 20 years.

I asked her some questions about the home:

How many years has the home been running and how many women have been accommodated by the New Life Centre?

The home started 20 years ago, the same year that abortion was legalized, and over the years there have been 629 girls and women pass through the home. The youngest girl was just 11 years old and the oldest 42 years old. The home can accommodate 10 ladies at a time although, if the home is full, we pull out mattresses and the ladies sleep on the floor.

How much does it cost to run this home each month?

Around R25 000 a month for the running of the home, petrol and medical costs.

Do these women receive medical care from the government?

Yes. The women give birth at Karl Bremer Hospital and we have had a very positive experience over the years with this hospital. Dr Deal at Durbanville Medi Clinic does scans for us free of charge. Most of the ladies give birth naturally and there have been 3 births at the home as the ladies did not get to the hospital in time, so I delivered 3 of the babies myself, and one of them was breech!

Where do you receive your money from each month?

It really comes from God! The Ministry of the Belleville Methodist Church give us the house for free each month and some of the members assist with money and groceries each month. We also receive money from The Community Chest.

What "qualifies" as a crisis for girls and women to come to the home and what does a "crisis" pregnancy mean?

Being homeless, being kicked out of the family home or shunned by the family, drug abuse, and girls and women not being emotionally ready to be a mother to the baby that they are carrying.
We do not discriminate and all women of all walks are welcomed. We have had atheist and Muslim ladies come to us as there are no crisis pregnancy centres in the Muslim communities.
Women who return a second time in a second crisis pregnancy are also not turned away but rather welcomed back. Our first priority is to try and unite the girls and women with their families.

Is the home very strict? Are girls and women allowed visitors?

No drugs or drinking is allowed and friends and relatives may visit but preferably not boyfriends. The girls rotate a chore list and take turns to cook and clean.

What is the road that you walk with the ladies if they choose to put the baby up for adoption?

The New Life Centre works with Pro Care so
the process is therefore a "private' adoption and the ladies can choose the family that will adopt their baby.
Once the mother has given birth to the baby she may see the baby and meet the baby if she wants to. The baby is then taken to the "baby room" while she recovers. The mother is encouraged to say good bye to the baby back at the home. The mother has 60 days to change her mind and keep her baby if she chooses to. In this time a Kangaroo mom will collect the baby with a court order. Post adoption agreement letters are decided between the social worker, the adoptive parents and the birth mother.
We try keep the ladies here as long as possible after the birth and we do post birth counselling.

I am under the impression that a private adoption is very expensive and this is often what puts many people off the idea of adopting privately. Is it true that a private adoption can cost up to R100 000?

No not at all! It works on a sliding scale and depends on your income. This allows anyone to adopt and it doesn't mean that because someone is very wealthy that they will necessarily be good parents and it would not be fair to lower income families who wish to adopt. 


Do girls receive any skills training while at the home?

Yes they do - they do a computer course and they learn to cook and clean. There is a lady who comes in to do antenatal classes with the ladies and a midwife who comes to see them at home as well.
A lady comes in to teach them to crochet and another lady comes to do guest house training with them.  We are currently looking for someone to train the ladies customer service skills, so someone who can commit an hour a week to the ladies in the home.

What are your needs and how can people get involved and support the home?

If there are specific skills that anyone feels that they can train the ladies in we would appreciate them volunteering their time. We will appreciate the donation of books, toiletries and clothes and financial donations are welcomed.



So as you can see Rennie and her husband are making a difference in South Africa, one crisis pregnancy at a time and Rennie says she wants to give God all the glory for the strength and grace He gives her.

If you would like to get involved in training the ladies or volunteering please contact Rennie and The New Life Centres bank account details are on their website.

If you know anyone who is in crisis pregnancy please share this information with them and encourage youth pastors and pastors to raise awareness and preach about the different crisis pregnancy centres in your area. 

Link to their website.

www.newlifecentre.co.za

To the girl/woman considering abortion:

I do not know who you are or how you got to this place of contemplating aborting your baby but please hear my story so that you can make an informed decision.

I was 14 years old but behaved like a 19 year old, doing things and going places that were not legal yet, and if my mother tried to stop me I would run away from home. I was an angry teenager acting out because I was sexually abused as a child and acting out because my father walked out on us. I was angry and out of control.
I began to notice that I was gaining weight on my stomach and wondered if I could be pregnant but reasoned that it would never happen to me.
I didn't want a baby so therefore, in my mind, I would not have a baby or become pregnant until I wanted to.
Nonetheless I took a pregnancy test and was shocked to learn that I was pregnant.

My boyfriend at the time (lets call him David) and I decided that we were both too young to become parents. He wanted to finish school, and I was convinced that I would be the worst mother on earth as I could hardly take care of myself, never mind a baby.
Neither of our families were financially well off, and my mother was a single mother so I reasoned that aborting my baby would be the best solution because neither of our families could afford a baby.

I made sure not to tell any of my friends so that no one would be able to talk me out of it.

On the day of my abortion I bunked school and my boyfriend had a motorbike to drive us to the clinic.
We arrived early, just after 8am, and I filled in the paper work. I used an alias name, the nurses didn't even ask for an I.D. An ultrasound was done to confirm the pregnancy and to see how far along I was. I was 14 weeks along. I remember seeing the little jellybean on the screen and hearing the heart beat. I remember thinking, "Get it out, just get this thing out of me!"

Next, the nurse took me to the next room and crushed up two tablets and stuck them deep inside of me. She explained that I would experience some cramping, and that we had to wait a few hours until the fetal tissue was ready to be removed. She never once called my baby a baby and when I asked her if the fetus would feel anything she told me that it would not because it wasn't fully developed yet.

So David and I went to the nearest shopping centre and walked around and had a milkshake while we waited for our baby to die. I had a few cramps but was convinced that I was doing the right thing. After all, this baby would be better off without me.

At midday we went back to the abortion clinic and I was given a hospital gown to change into. There were other women in the waiting room dressed in hospital gowns too, all lined up for there 'procedure', as the nurses called it.

One by one they went in, and all came out crying. No one said a word or comforted one another. Then it was my turn to go in.

Up until then I had managed to keep my head high and face brave, but when I lay on that bed and the next ultrasound was done, I started crying hysterically. It hit me. The reality of killing my own child hit me and it was too late to do anything about it.
I saw the jelly bean again on the screen but this time there was no heart beat, just silence.
My feet were put up in stirrups and the abortionist took a long needle and stuck it deep inside of me. The pain was overwhelming and I kicked at him and resisted and closed my legs. Angrily he said, "Do you want to die? If I don't suck her out you will die!" Her. It was a girl. "What other options do I have?" I asked. "You could go to the hospital but then your family will find out and I am guessing that you don't want that."

I opened my legs again and let him continue as hot tears streamed down my face.

I listened as the fetus was sucked out and heard the sound of the parts falling into the red waste bad that said "Human Waste.'' It sounded like mud being thrown onto a plastic bag.

I went back to the waiting room where the other women and girls sat but warm blood started streaming down my legs and the pain was unbearable. A nurse put a linen saver under my bum and I sat there, bleeding and cramping and weeping and feeling like the worst person on earth.

After the abortion I really struggled. I became so depressed that I wanted to sleep all day. I cried so much and it was all too much for David to handle. 
We broke up shortly after.

I met my husband and fell madly in love and married him when I was 19 and had my daughter when I was 20. When I held my daughter in my arms for the first time the guilt came back to haunt me. I was holding a baby. A baby. Like the one I disposed of.

I was diagnosed with post natal depression and put on medication but the guilt and dark thoughts never left me. I decided that the right thing for me to do was to commit suicide... my daughter deserved a better mother and my husband a better wife so it was the right thing to do. I would be doing them a favor.

So I wrote my suicide notes and wrote the hardest letter I have ever had to write, to my daughter....explaining why it would be better if i didn't stick around.
God knows I was going to do it. I had made up my mind that I was going to do it.
But in my dark moment of extreme desperation I called out to God and said "If you are real, please.... NOW would be a good time to reveal it!"

God revealed Himself to me and for the first time in my life I felt a supernatural peace that cannot be explained. Up until that point I had always felt so uneasy, so on edge, but that night I experienced peace. 

A friend who had been praying for me had given me a Bible and I stared reading it and as I asked questions in my mind the answers were appearing on the page! It was like I was having a conversation with God. Sounds crazy I know but this was my experience and it has changed me on such a deep level. I made the decision to become a Christian and asked God to help me live as I was not strong enough enough to do it alone.

I know what it feels like to be weak.
I know what it is like to feel so deadly alone and afraid.
I know what it is like to have no hope.
I have been there. I have experienced the overwhelming reality of being in a crisis pregnancy. I have suffered the loss of losing a baby girl to abortion to the point where I almost killed myself just to end the pain.

Abortion is not a quick fix. There is no quick fix once you are in a crisis pregnancy. The other roads and the other options will also have challenges but ask yourself this, what will you regret more? Abortion? Or choosing life for your baby?

There are many crisis pregnancy centers in our country but sadly girls and women do not know their options. Abortion is widely marketed as being a cheap, painless and easy procedure. Believe me, abortion is not cheap- it costs a life. Abortion is not painless and abortion is definitely not easy.
Please do your research before making the most difficult decision you may have to make in your life.

http://melissa-story.cvafr.com 

Hartenbos Aarendsfees Music Festival

I was invited to take part in the Hartenbos Aarendsfees Music Festival over the Easter weekend and how could I possibly refuse? 

Thanks to the amazing band that traveled from Cape Town and also played for Shannah and Andriette de la Harpe, I had the best stage support I could have asked for. 

With Deon Knipe playing bass guitar, Wikis Du Rand and Rudolph Müller on guitar and back up vocals, and Charlton Loff playing the drums, the stage was set!

I had the opportunity to have the stage on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. On Sunday evening I spoke but didn’t sing again.

My EP was available to buy and I also sold some T-Shirts that I had printed. I sold Christian jewelry and all of the t-shirts sold!

Errol Naidoo from Salt and Light did an interview with me for his show and I shared my views on abortion and shared about how I am passionately pro-life after having an abortion when I was 14 years old. 

Errol was kind enough to have his camera crew record a live acoustic version of me singing my song Your Love and I am thankful for the favor.




It is a once in a lifetime opportunity to perform at Hartenbos and is something that I will treasure always to have had this privilege. 

Mom Jeans And The 4th trimester: Practical Tips On How To Survive The First 12 Weeks With Your Newborn:

I read on Pinterest that the latest fashion item to add to your wardrobe this season is the mom jean. It is a high waist, baggy, stiff denim jean that is comfortable and described on Urban Slang definition as "ugly" and is apparently worn by "cool girl hipsters."

Well I am not a cool girl and I am not a hipster, I am a mom of three awesome offspring, the youngest just two and a half months old, and I am just trying to survive the fourth trimester.  I wear my mom jean because I don't actually have a choice but to wear it; my skinny jeans and pre-pregnacy clothes are too small and my maternity clothes too big, and the bonus is that because the jeans have a high cut waist, I can hide my muffin top and flabby tummy.

So dear fashion and trend experts, the mom jean is in fact more than the latest trend, is it actually an essential survival tool for the fourth trimester! 

Here are some tips and tricks that have really helped me survive the fourth trimester while wearing my apparently fashionable mom jean:

1. Nest like a beast! 

Put that crazy amount of energy that you have in the last trimester to good use and indulge in sorting every cupboard and shelf.

When baby is born you will be glad you did!

2. Simplify

I made a point to give away any furniture and clothes, shoes, crockery, kitchen appliances, books and magazines that I have not used/worn in the last 6 months.

clutter.creates.confusion.and.mess.and.stress.

3. Only buy the baby stuff you really need!

You don't need all that fancy stuff that the baby magazine is trying to sell you!
Ask friends and family what they thought were essential items, but as a breastfeeding, co-sleeping and baby wearing Mama I don't think that you need that much "stuff" for baby!

4. Invest in a "work easy" kitchen 

Invest in a slow cooker, a dishwasher, a food processor, a set of good quality knives, a good quality set of pots and pans and a chest freezer and I promise you your time in the kitchen will be revolutionized when preparing meals.

5. Cook in bulk

When I was in my second trimester I started experimenting with different foods and would freeze small portions of left overs to see what foods freeze well and what foods don't.
I started cooking double portions of supper to freeze, and when I felt braver I would cook a weeks worth of dinners on a Sunday afternoon. When I was in my last trimester a friend of mine came to teach me how to cook a months worth of dinners in one day and it has literally changed my life. Less stress. Less dishes. Less work. More time to spend with my precious little one. 

Before and after: Dinner for a month!

Doing my once a month cook day while
baby Quade breastfeeds in the baby wrap.

6. Get help with the housework

Whether it's buying a dishwasher, getting a cleaning service or full time nanny or sending your laundry to the laundromat, just spend that little bit of extra money and get help with the housework. Don't let housework rob you of this short time with your precious newborn.

7. Online shopping

Especially for the c-section Mamas who can't drive for a few weeks after!

8. Learn to shop wisely 
Going to the shops every day is a waste of time and energy, especially if you can learn how to shop once a month. I buy my toiletries, cleaning products and shelf life foods once a month and buy them in bulk, and buy milk and bread and fruit and veggies once a week. The milk and bread go in the chest freezer and I use the veggies that will spoil quicker first, and use the veggies that can last longer at the end of the week. I plan my meals for the week and I do not leave the house without my shopping list when going to the shops!
I also believe that you save money by going to the shops less, not only on petrol, but because you won't buy unnecessary items during unnecessary trips to the shop!

9. Eat and get dressed as soon as you wake up
Because before you know it, it is 2pm and you are still in your pjs and have not eaten anything yet!

10. Vitamins 
Because you need to look after yourself Mama.

11. Co-sleep

It makes practical sense and is so special too!
Studies also show it has positive health and psychological benefits for baby.

12. Skin on skin
Helps with the milk supply and helps calm a niggly baby.

13. Baby wearing
Let me guess... Your baby cries when you put him/her down? This is totally normal! Seriously, stop fighting it. Just wear your baby and problem solved.

14. Don't try on your skinny jeans! 

It will make you feel fat and sad. Wait until at least 8 weeks!

15. Invest in games/Lego for the other kids

We banned devices in our home so we invested in board games and a few sets of Lego before the birth for moments when I am busy with Baby and the older two need something to do. Money well spent!

16. They say sleep when baby sleeps but rather have an early night

Especially if you have older children who need your attention. Spend some quality alone time with the older ones when baby sleeps. And every hour of sleep before midnight is apparently worth 4 hours of rest for your brain and body.

17. Pack the car and baby bag the night before 
I also draw money and put petrol in my car the day before I am going somewhere to avoid stress.

18. You can kuier in a little bit 

Braais, dinners, family lunches can wait. Unless it is an easy dinner or at someone else's house don't work like a slave to entertain when your baby is so small.

19. This is only a season! 

Deep breath. The crying will become less.

20. Laugh about it 
Don't take yourself too seriously! 

21. Pray for the strength and capacity to get through today.
One day at a time!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own. Matthew 6:34 

22. Rock those mom jeans unapologetically! 

Stop trying to be so damn perfect and just be you. Be real and raw and vulnerable because it is okay to feel like your world has been turned upside down. In fact you are meant to feel that way because every baby deserves that honor! ;)
I let my daughter see the truth of motherhood, because someday when she has children, I don't want her to feel that she has to have it all together. I want her to have a realistic expectation of what it will be like someday. 

So if you have some paint and baby spit up on your jeans... So what.

Wipe it off, put your comfy sneakers on, put some lipstick on, wear your baby wrap and rock this fourth trimester look Mama! You were born to do this!