On the 20th of August, my friend Youandi and I flew to Johannesburg for four days to attend the Africa Cares for Life conference.
 

Africa Cares for Life is an umbrella body and support structure for pregnancy centres in South Africa. Africa Cares for Life also offers various development programs to empower pregnancy centres in South Africa.

Each year, ACFL has a conference to refresh, encourage and empower pregnancy centre leaders and volunteers. 

While most pregnancy centres are actual centres in a physical building, there are a few online counselling helplines and organizations that offer online pregnancy help. 

Youandi Gilain from Open Arms SA, and Nina McNeil from 11th Hour are both online pregnancy support counsellors. 

I represent my organization, Project Life, and do most of my pregnancy help and post-abortion counselling on Whatsapp, with the odd person contacting me on Facebook. 

The majority of clients who contact me, contact me for post-abortion counselling, but now and then, I do receive a client seeking pregnancy counselling.

Daniele Gradwell, director of ACFL put together an exceptionally inspiring conference, and world-class speakers shared their stories and passion for assisting girls and women in unplanned pregnancies.

Karla Sutter, Ellen Foell, Grant Edkins, and Lusanda Dhlamini are some of the fantastic influencers that spoke at the conference.

Each day, we had the option of attending wonderfully informative workshops. One of the workshops that particularly stood out to me was Breaking Soul Ties, by Joyce Ray. 
 

I also had the privilege of seeing the movie Unplanned at the conference. The film is powerfully moving, and I have no doubt in my mind that it will change and challenge many hearts on the topic of abortion. I imagine that many lives will be saved because of this movie.

I will be planning a screening for the movie Unplanned in Cape Town towards the end of October, so keep an eye out for the details. 

On the last evening of the conference, Daniele organized a banquet, and we were encouraged to dress up. The theme for the conference was BOLD, so I wore a brightly coloured dress and painted my face like a warrior, symbolic of my passion to boldly fight for what I believe is right.
My heart was so full of joy to be surrounded by people with the same passion, who are on the same mission that I am on. 

I would like to say a special thanks to you to Daniele for putting together an amazingly informative and motivational conference.  
I have been inspired to take bold steps and to keep moving forward. I have been inspired to be courageous.

#NOTALLMENARETRASH

On Saturday, I had the honour of speaking at a High Tea for moms and their teenage sons. 

Due to the extremely violent crimes commited against women and children that have been reported in the news recently, a  popular hashtag here in South Africa right now is #menaretrash.

I titled my speech #notallmenaretrash, in an attempt to encourage and motivate these boys to be better men.
I told the story of how I know men who have behaved like trash, but also men who are of great value to this world. The opposite of trash is something valuable, and the main message that I hoped to get across to these boys, is that they have a choice between these two.
To be trash, and to make the world ugly and dirty. 
Or to be of value to this world, and to do great things and leave a legacy. 

I have been hurt by men who treated me like I was trash.
I have been sexually harassed, abused, abandoned and used. 

But, I have also been respected and protected by men out there who are not trash.

My grandfather, a respectable and kind man, is not trash.

My husband, a man of integrity, who honours me and my children, is not trash.  

My sons, Dominic, and Quade, are not trash.
And I will do my best to raise them up to be good men.

Perhaps, instead of calling all the men out there trash, we can try to speak life over the ones who are not. It is not fair to call young boys trash. Children will grow into what we speak over them.

To the men out there, the good ones, thank you.

Thank you for being a man of value. 

And please. Please protect us.

Teach your sons to respect women, and don't make fun of women.
Don't share content on your social media that is inappropriate. Don't encourage your friends to act violently. And stop watching porn- it is highly addictive, and studies show that it teaches men to dehumanize and objectify women. There is strong evidence that men who rape and sexually abuse women, watch pornography before committing the crime. So just don't.

Be the man that you wish your daughter could marry.
Add value to the world and make it a better place.
Be that guy. 


#notallmenaretrash
#protectus