The Butterfly Song - the story behind the song

At the beginning of this year many of my personal relationships were under strain and I had a difficult time understanding why certain people in my life did not support me in my decision to speak out against abortion and pursue music. I had to seek God for His wisdom and healing because I felt very rejected and misunderstood. And God being the ultimate comforter, comforted me with scripture. Often when I read my Bible I would be gently nudged and told to be BRAVE and BOLD.

One night I had a dream that I was a butterfly with huge glowing wings and I was dancing for the King. And this revelation washed over me like a wave of warm sunshine:

I am His little butterfly. 
Created with this sole purpose: To glorify my Creator.

God started speaking me to me through butterflies and every time I saw a butterfly I would be reminded that He is near.

The Bible doesn't actually mention butterflies at all but does tell us to consider the ways of the ant. How hard he works. How he stores his food for the winter. Such a small but wise creature. And one that we can learn so much from...

But lets consider the butterfly for a moment because there is so much that we can learn from this fragile but fierce creature..

The butterfly is delicate and small and can easily be killed and crushed.
Yet the butterfly is fearless.
The butterfly is bold.
The butterfly goes out, follows the wind and trusts her wings to carry her.
The butterfly is transformed into something beautiful and glorious.
The butterfly brings beauty and life where ever she flies.

Consider the butterfly...

As believers we need to be like butterflies. Bold and fearless and paint the sky and make the world beautiful with His message of hope and love. Glorify Him and shine for Him, and do it wholeheartedly and with flare.

We are called to be the light, and be the salt, and change the world and speak the truth. Lets do it fearlessly and boldly.

Lets go out in the world and be like butterflies... let our existence and beauty that we shine from within bring glory to the Creator, and let the joy we radiate bring delight to this dark world we live in.

As believers we are like the butterfly. Once a caterpillar, unable to fly, our salvation renews our spirit and we are transformed into a new and beautiful creation. We are able to fly and be free and dance in the sky. All we have to do is trust... that the wings He bled for us to fly will carry us.

Consider the butterfly...

The Butterfly Song

My butterfly
Delicate velvet
My butterfly
Fearless spirit

Ignite your wings
And dare to dream
Light up the night
Light up the sky
Ignite your wings
Embrace your dreams
Dance for me tonight

Butterfly
Be bold
Butterfly
Be brave
Butterfly
Be bold
And paint the sky

My butterfly
New creation
My butterfly
You are a revelation

Ignite your wings
And dare to dream
Light up the night
Light up the sky
Ignite your wings
Embrace your dreams
Dance for me tonight

Butterfly
Be bold
Butterfly
Be brave
Butterfly
Be bold
And paint the sky

You were created
To glorify
The world is faded
Go paint with fire

Arise. Butterfly. Pray.

I never thought I would ever step into an abortion clinic again.
After the trauma of my abortion fourteen years ago, I vowed never to go back.
But this morning I did.

I wore my pro life badge in honor of the "40 Days For Life" prayer movement.
My badge is of a babys' hands - to scale of a twelve week old in the womb.
In 559 cities around the world, believers pray and fast for forty days, some standing outside abortion clinics and peacefully pray for the mothers and children killed and scarred by abortion. And to ultimately end abortion.

I felt very strongly that I had to go inside the clinic. I had vowed to never enter an abortion clinic again after the pain I had gone through as a scared and desperate teenager. But in I went and sat quietly in the waiting room. They would throw me out if I tried to convince one of their potential clients not to have an abortion on their property, so all I could do was pray. 

I sat watching each person, not judging, but just compassionately praying over each and every one. 

Not everyone in there was there for an abortion because Marie Stopes also provides other services like sterilization and HIV testing. But I still prayed for everyone. And then I left. And I didn't feel profoundly spiritual or like I had achieved much.

Part of me felt like I didn't do enough. All I did today was go and pray.
I wanted to tell the mothers who had abortions that if they turn to Jesus, He will forgive them. I wanted to tell the girl considering an abortion that it is not a quick fix.

Then a very special friend messaged me to ask how it went. She was praying for me from her home. I told her that I felt like what I had done wasn't enough. I didn't see the effects of my prayers. I believe God heard them, but I didn't feel super spiritual.

She reminded me of this amazing principle: 

Darkness always gives way to light. It has to. It is a basic principle and law. My presence wasn't there for nothing, and the life I spoke in the walls of death were heard by God.

The next "40 Days For Life" will be in February 2015, I am praying that even more believers will take part.

God hears me ask for this.

He hears all my prayers. 

He hears all of your prayers too.

Every prayer.

Always.

"God's there, listening to all who pray, for all who pray and mean it. He does what's best for those who fear Him - hears them call out, and saves them." Psalm 145:18-19 MSG

For more information on 40 Days For Life visit: http://40daysforlife.com/

Tips For Busy Mamas: How to spend more time with God

We live in a time where we seem to have no time.

Yet we also live in a time where we have so much information and so many Christian resources at our fingertips. Christian radio, television programs, movies and magazines have made it so easy for us, as believers, to enrich ourselves and move closer to God.

We have the resources but not the time to invest.



Here are a few tips to make time and to ensure the time you have with Him is quality time:

1. Wake up 30 minutes earlier to ensure you have quality time with God before the hustle and bustle of the day begins. Starting your day off with a quiet time will help you in the day ahead because your mind will be renewed, you will be more focused, prepared, calm and centered.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

2. Read your Bible. Seems pretty obvious doesn't it? But read it out loud and try reading the different translations to fully appreciate the richness of what is being said.

3. Pray. To prevent your mind from drifting and getting distracted whilst praying, kneel beside your bed and close your eyes. It really does help, try it.
And make a prayer journal... Make a list of the thing you are currently praying for so that you can stay focused. Fast when you pray. Give up food or something that you love, like television or social networking and spend that time in prayer or reading your Bible instead.

Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:7

4. Make Jesus a lifestyle. Include Him at mealtimes. But not in a weird way. Have family discussions around the dinner table about what you are praying for and what amazing testimonies you have witnessed. Ask questions. Encourage your children to ask questions too. Make speaking about the Bible and God, and praying together at meal times, such a natural routine in your family, that your children don't become defensive when you mention Jesus. Teaching His Word should not feel like a trip to the headmasters office. Although as parents we are instructed to teach our children, we should be humble in doing so.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

5. Involve your children. You do not need to lock yourself away from your children just to spend time with God. And for many mothers (like me) the children are around 24/7. Get a childrens' Bible with beautiful illustrations and read to them. Teach them to pray. Encourage them to take turns saying grace at mealtimes and praying at bedtime and let them see that prayer is as simple as talking to God.

6. Give thanks in a "Things I am grateful for" note book.  Last year January, after being inspired by the book, One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp, I decided to carry a notebook and pen in my hand bag and write down all the small things that I am thankful for as I would observe them. Small things that I took for granted, like the smell of rain and the doves singing on my windowsill became apparent and I became so aware of all the miracles around me.

7. Listen while you are busy cooking or busy with chores. Get a radio in the kitchen or speakers for your phone. Listen to Podcasts of sermons or get them on C.D at your local Christian bookstore. Many Churches record their sermons and then allow them to be downloaded in MP3 format. YOUTUBE also has many sermons available.

shoX portable speakers are great for moving around and can be plugged into your Mp3 player, Iphone, laptop, Ipad, or Ipod.
Retail price starts at R180.00 in South Africa and available at most electronic retailers.

8.  Memorize verses. Write them on little pieces of paper, or on a chalk board , mirror or on your fridge. Write it somewhere that you will see often. These verses are your weapons in spiritual warfare.

Keep my commandments and live, and my teaching as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.  Proverbs 7:2-3

9. Read a chapter in Proverbs according to the date.
There are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs. Therefore a verse in Proverbs for each day of the month. Proverbs is the book of wisdom after all!

10. Christian-ify your media. Consciously decide what you and your family will watch, listen to and read. Choose Christian Magazines, radio and movies over secular ones and Christian children's programes for the little ones.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6.

11. Fellowship with other believers. Sharing testimonies around the dinner table with friends, praying together as friends, going to Church and Bible studies and simply keeping our conversations about Him all bring us closer to Him and to each other.

12. Take a walk in nature. Marvel at all the beautiful things that He has created.

13. Make a list of miracles that have happened in your life and stick it next to your bed or in your car where you can see it daily as a reminder of all that He has done for you.

Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me. Psalm 103:2

14. Worship. Find worship music in the genre that you like. Not everyone likes the same style of music and that is wonderful. There are many Christian artists with many different styles of music out there. It is the heart behind the song, not the style that matters to Him.

But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve." Jeremiah 17:10

15. Sing to Him. Even if you feel that you sound like a squealing pig. God wants to be worshiped.

16. Dance in the spirit. Dance for Him as if you were dancing before His throne. Let the spirit guide you and set you free.

Praise his name with dancing, accompanied by tambourine and harp. Psalm 149:3

17. Talk  to Him. Continually. About everything. Run to the throne and not the phone. Jesus wants us to speak to Him. And He really does care about every detail of our lives.

18. Make a sin list and burn it. Write down all the things that you feel are sinful and  that are holding you back from living in victory and BURN IT.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:2

Remember. God will never leave nor forsake you and His Holy Spirit lives within us and works through us. If you feel far away from God, ask yourself, who moved?

A Letter To My Aborted Baby Girl:

Today is the anniversary of your death.
It has been thirteen years since I made the decision to end your life.
Thirteen years since I sacrificed your precious and innocent life for my own convenience.

I only heard the sound of your heart beat once and I remember not liking the song you sang to me. Your existence mocked me for my sins. You were the consequence of my behavior.
In my mind you were not allowed to exist until I said so. 
At your first ultra sound I remember thinking, "Get it out. Get this thing out of me."
But when you died, something inside of me died too.

If only I had known that back then...

Words fail me to express the level of remorse I feel for failing you. I am truly so sorry and ask that you will forgive me for what I have done.
I failed to protect you. I failed to be a mother to you.
And despite how it looks, despite the fact that I payed someone to poison you and slowly rip your body apart and dispose of you, I really do love you. 
Ironic I know, that in the same sentence I apologize for murdering you then say that I love you.

If only I had known back then what I know now...

I am sorry that I took your chance to live away from you. I often wonder what you would have looked like. What weird and wonderful personality quirks could you have had?
You could have been anything you wanted to be in this life. You could have been an artist or a chef or a firefighter or a writer. You could have changed the world and gone to the moon and back if that is what you wanted to do. 

But I took that away from you…

And now the world shall have to be a little less colorful because you never had the chance to leave your footprint.

There is no excuse for what I did to you. There is simply no way to justify the crime I committed against you. Sure enough, I was afraid. And only fourteen years old. But that did not give me right to murder you and all that you could have been. 

A few years after I aborted you I tried to end my own life because I hated myself so much for what I had done. It was in this dark moment that God intervened and stopped me and saved my life. I went from being an atheist to a Christian in a second.
It took a few years of walking with the Lord before I completely forgave myself.
And then God put it on my heart to tell my story of what happened... of what I did to you.
And because I spoke out against abortion, three babies who were to be aborted, now live.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you came to birth, I consecrated you.” Jeremiah 1:5

Your death will never be in vain, and I will make it up to you by doing all that I can to prevent another mother from making the same mistake that I made. I will fight for you, until my very last breath, because every time I tell the world about you, I bring you back for just a few minutes. Your life, although short, will be a beacon of hope for many, and you are a legacy down here on earth. Until the day we meet in heaven, it is my promise to tell all who will listen about you and save as many babies as I can, because I believe that this is Gods will and plan for me.
I promise to tell your brother and sister the truth about you once they are old enough to understand.

And if ever the fact that I aborted you made you feel unloved, unwanted, unworthy or forgotten, know this:
You are loved, you are wanted and you can never be forgotten. 
I can never forget you and I can never stop loving you.

You are not my dark secret and I am not ashamed of you.
I am proud to have had you as my daughter for fourteen short weeks.
So honored to have carried you.
But so deeply sorry that I was not your mother.

I love you forever.

Your Mommy
Melissa Hertz

I Am Not Worthy

Lord Jesus: 
Its me again. I'm sorry to bug You … 

Third time today and its 11 am. 

Its just that this child you gave me is so unreasonable. I know he is only four, but when he  told me the lunch I made him tastes ''yuk" and refused to eat anything I lost my temper with him again. I really am sorry and really am trying to be a better person.

Forgive me Jesus, and help me because I lack the strength and the patience to live the way I desire to live for You. 

In Jesus name, Amen

I imagine God rolling His eyes and thinking, "This woman again, asking for grace again, for the same mistake." Thankfully, it is only in my imagination that God rolls His eyes at me and thankfully God is a God of grace and mercy. 

You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

I mess up too often. And when I say I mess up I don't mean that I am the mastermind behind a bank robbery or that I plan to put arsenic in my mother-in-law's coffee. But sin is sin. Black is black and white is white. And then, thankfully, there are shades of grace through the blood of Jesus Christ. 

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. Ephesians 1:7 

God knows my heart and God knows I try... 

I try so hard not to be angry

I try so hard not to judge when someone does something that I don't understand or agree with. I try so hard not to shout at the car in front of me that's driving 40 kilometers an hour in the fast lane on the highway when I am running late. I fall into the traps that the enemy has set, and I have to ask for forgiveness for the same sins. And I find myself asking God WHY He would instruct or even allow a species as flawed and corrupt as humans to carry His precious name, cast out demons in His name, and ask for anything in His name.

You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14:14

I am not worthy to carry the Gospel. I am not pure enough. I am not Holy enough. I almost feel I insult my King when I call myself a Christian because it is such an audacity to label myself with such honor. The truth is, Jesus is the only worthy of carrying the Gospel, yet He carried the sins of the world.

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness...” 1 Peter 2:24a 

He instructed us the go out and go make disciples, knowing that we are so far from perfect. And although we will never be good enough for God, and although we are not saved through works but through faith in grace, we should not be passive, we should be proactive and go out and change the world with the love of Jesus. Because in doing so we are being obedient.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8, 9 

I am too flawed and small to comprehend the 

magnitude of His goodness and grace

But then a little voice from inside whispers and I feel at peace. 
It's the quiet voice that says, "I love you child." 
It's the quiet voice that says, "Through my blood you are righteous."

And then I lift my head, tie my shoes and I am His disciple.
Not worthy but worthy enough to die for.
Not holy, but holy enough to be in His presence.
Not anything at all, but through Him, all things, and able to do all things.

Because in these moments of weakness God is my source of strength. 
When I am weak, I am strong. He is everything I need.
And I, well, I am not worthy.